21 August 2007

If I had a million dollars ... I'd be rich.

I know, I'm still bad at this blogging thing. One of these days I'll get better. Gimme a break, though. Sometimes I'm lazy. Most of the time I'm too lazy to put my headphones back on when I get back to my desk from going to the bathroom. And then I'm bored because I'm not listening to music to pass the time. But I'm still too lazy to put the headphones on. Tell me that's not some kind of disease.

Anyway, I read somewhere that one of the co-founders of Nike donated $100 million bucks to the University of Oregon. I'm quite certain there are better organizations to donate to than an athletic department whose mascot is a freaking duck. How about donating that to my bank account? Cool.

Here are just a few examples of what I'd do with a large sum of money. Keep in mind that I'm not going to list the obvious ones, like getting out of debt and making sure my parents/siblings are good to go for the remainder of their lives. I'd totally do that - I'm not a selfish brat - but I feel like those should be staples in everyone's "What I'd do with $100 million dollar checklists." If not, they should undergo some severe punishment, like being locked in a room with Pauly Shore or something. Here's my partial list:

1.)I'd set aside enough money in order for me to get allergy shots for the rest of my life. Particularly shots for my dog allergy. That way I can have fifty million puppies and not feel like my head/chest will explode.

2.)I'd buy fifty million puppies. Obviously.

3.)I'd buy a house. Yeah, so this isn't that uncommon. But I wouldn't go crazy. I wouldn't buy some ridiculous mansion. I'd buy a house with a big kitchen so I can go crazy on my Sandra Lee recipes and tablescapes. It would have a wraparound porch, because let's be honest - they're adorable. A decent sized bedroom, obviously with a sizeable walk-in closet, and a few extra rooms. One for an office, the others for guest purposes - since I'm so popular - and future children. Very future children.

4.)I wouldn't buy a new car. I'd just pay mine off. Trusty Rhonda.

5.)I'd keep working. Lord knows if I didn't work I'd either drive myself to insanity or become a crafting nazi. I guess those are both one in the same. Anyway, I would obviously set enough money aside so in the case of belligerantly annoying job/clients, and no other agency would take me, I could have a little thing we call peace-of-mind.

6.)I'd buy some organ lessons. I will play the organ for the Royals when I'm Oldy McOlderson.

7.)Lots of fancy food at lots of fancy restaurants. Enough said. And I'll probably franchise a Tortilla Jack's and station it on the same block as my house. Not right next to it, though. Because then I'd be fat with burrito goodness.

8.)A vacation or two every year for the rest of my life. Some destinations may include, but are not limited to, Australia, Italy, England, South Africa, Hawaii and Kalamazoo. I don't even know where Kalamazoo is, but I want to say that I've been there.


That's all I've got for now. Now all I've got to do is meet this Nike guy, and I'll be set. My charismatic ways will do the rest. (No prostitute jokes, please.)