Why winter is stupid

• My hair gets so staticky, I'm certain I resemble the teacher from The Magic School Bus. Miss Frizzle, I presume?

• I have to either a) wake up early or, 2) decide to be late to the office in order to scrape the ice off my car windows. Lack of covered parking is really what sucks in this situation, but I'm blaming it on winter anyway. (Oh and, P.S., I usually choose the latter of these options. Shhh, don't tell.)

• Something about me is I don't pay attention to weather forecasts. So the only time I'm exposed to the current temperature situation is when I pass the UMB time/temp sign on I-35 on the way to work. It's not even the coldest month of our Midwest winter, and bank sign tells me it's 5 freaking degrees. If that's not stupid, I don't know what is. (Oh, wind chill, that's what.)

• Doing anything at any store is a nightmare.

• Snow gives people reason to park 20 feet apart, therefore creating approximately five spots in a 25-spot lot. Idiots.

• Fuzzy Crocs. As if Crocs aren't bad enough, you think putting some fuzz in there is going to keep your feet warm outside? I mean, really?

• Showering is painful. When my toes are freezing, even after I cover them with thick socks and park my feet in front of the space heater, stepping into the shower with said freezing toesies is just wrong.

• When I have to go somewhere that requires packing, an extra bag is required. For shoes. Because winter shoes take up more space. Suck.

• I have to look at ugly lawn decorations. I'm all for the Christmas lights (within reason), but the 10-foot inflatable snow man with spinning snow ball in hand is just awful. Get a clue. And you know what, I can even deal with one. A single lawn decoration is your prerogative. But when you get twenty of them out there, it becomes our problem, too.

• I won't even start on the driving situation.

• No tan. Enough said.