Gooooooooulet

I've made a recent discovery of an abomination on the catalog phenomenon, if such a thing exists ... does it? I think I just made that up. Nay, I'm positive I did. It's what I do, deal with it. Anyway, two words, my friends: Midnight Velvet.

I'm not sure how to describe this publication. It's a mish-mash of women's clothing - definitely not worthy of a fashion classification - and home decor. Upon further research on their website ... I can't believe they deem this stuff worthy of a website ... I have learned they also offer furniture and "bed and bath." Joy! Let me share some of the gems this waste of paper and postage fees displays.



They call this the Watercolor Pant Set. I've read that watercolor prints are "in" this year. I'm also certain this is not what they meant. I think I saw this actual watercolor painting in our 1989 rental home at Beaver Lake. "1989" and "Beaver Lake" being the operative terms that exemplify why it should not be adapted to a piece of clothing. Also, I'm fairly confident in saying anything involving a "set" in clothing is meant for ages 7 and under. There's also a whole category on the site dedicated to pant sets. Not ok. And let's note that this specific piece of work is dry clean only. In my terms? Trash can filled with kerosene and a lit match only. We could also talk about how this is $130 ... but I digress.



For the love of fashion, who told someone Bedazzling is back? It's not. I assure you. And beg you to stop.



I think the suit section is my favorite. And by "favorite" I mean "makes me gag the most." Mostly because all the suits come with matching handbags and hats. Oh the hats! I mean, I can go for a big, obnoxious hat at the Kentucky Derby. But I think we can all agree that she's not going to the Kentucky Derby. And if nothing else, let's get one thing clear ... not many pieces of clothing should don this hue of purple. Let alone an entire collection of accessories to go with it.



I mean, really?



Holy jackpot, I just discovered the men's section. Look out, J. Your birthday is coming up...

And just for a little taste of Midnight Velvet's versatility...



Oh good! I've been wondering where I can find a glass orb complete with jellyfish design.

The best part about receiving this catalog? The callout sticker on the front telling me, "Be careful! This could be your last issue. Order now!" Is that a threat or a promise? Please let it be a promise.