Top five signs you need a vacation

In no particular order:

1) You seriously contemplate canceling said vacation because things at work might combust upon departure ... not because you're that important, but that's just what seems to happen when anyone leaves.

2) Though drinking alcoholic beverages is kept to a minimum these days, a round of bar golf sounds like the best time a girl could ask for. (Proposition me with this activity at a normal time period, and I'd laugh in your face.)

3) You realize you need a tangible name for your "alter-ego", though it's not so "alter" these days. (I'm not so much the same person these days.)

4) You beg for someone to give you an exuse not to run after work because all you want to do is sit on the couch and watch ANTM, The Soup and other DVR goodness.

5) You're a little disappointed that your annual bout of bronchitis hasn't made a visit and you're secretly hoping you catch the life-altering flu that's going around just to get away from the office.

Honorable mentions:

You blog again immediately after posting a previous entry in order to avoid actual work.

Nothing can down-spiral a valiant effort to grow out your nails like a return from a client you thought was gone forever. One fingernail down, seven to go. (Thumbs don't count.)

You get pimples comparable to the size of your big toe thanks to a little thing we call stress. Ew.