Judging January

January, this is why you suck:

• You force me to remove my Christmas decorations from all the nooks and crannies of my home. And I will always resent you for it.
• You are cold. So cold that even when I'm donning 90% of my cold-weather wardrobe (long undies, flannel jammies, socks, slippers, sweatshirt, robe and blanket) I still get the shivery shakes.
• Your snow is the sloppy seconds of weather. December's snow was pretty. Yours is not.
• You insist that I reap the credit card damage I sowed in December. Rude.

January, this is why you're kind of ok:

• You're only one month away from V-Day and B-Day.
• You have things like hoarfrost. And that's just funny to say.
• You're usually the inspiration of killer clearance sales at several of my favorite retail locations. This is the kind of sloppy seconds of which I can approve.
• Well ... that's about it, really.